Sunday, 25 October 2020
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Written by Sandra Fitzpatrick   
Monday, 04 July 2011 15:34

Transformers: Dark of the MoonWhen, oh when, will there be a Transformers movie worthy of the super-coolness of the Transformers toys? Maybe when director Michael Bay gets his edit-happy little paws off the franchise, but given the commercial success I’m guessing that won’t be any time soon. I will say that Transformers: Dark of the Moon probably comes the closest in the series to achieving awesomeness, but that doesn’t take into account the unforgiveable mess that is the first half of the film.

Nitwitty, er, Witwicky and his new gal.When Michael Bay says “Action!” what he probably means is “Action!-CUT!-Action!-No-Wait-Ok-ACTION!-Cut!” At least that’s the impression I get since there are no scenes longer than 30 seconds without cutting to another scene. He directs movies like music videos, which only works if you don’t care about telling a story. But here’s what I got from it…

After saving the planet twice, Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf) can’t get a real job. He can however get hot girls, as evidenced by the bubble-lipped blonde prancing around his apartment in her panties. She’s not Megan Fox, but she looks good in her skivvies and doesn’t sound like a potty-mouthed sailor during interviews so, she’ll do. Sam’s car has better luck finding work than he does; of course his car happens to be a giant transforming fighting robot. I know which one I’d hire!

The highly employable BumblebeeThe Autobots are helping the American government maintain peace on earth (talk about backing the wrong horse!) while the Decepticons convalesce and gain strength. When it is discovered that a spacecraft from their home planet of Cybertron has been crash landed on the moon for decades, Optimus Prime and the Autobots must stop its’ secrets it from landing in the evil metal clutches of Megatron.

Transformers 3 starts out with a segment that re-imagines the Apollo moon-landing as a research mission to learn more about the alien lunar crash site. This is the cool stuff they used in the previews to make me think it was going to be a different movie. Then the film takes a turn for the worse as we follow Shia LeBeouf to job interviews and watch him have temper tantrums for what feels like forever. What is John Malkovich doing in this movie?!

Woul YOU risk your life to make a crappy movie?The film picks up again for a series of spectacular battle scenes as dueling Transformers destroy Chicago! It’s overblown, long, and quite often ridiculous, but the last hour of action is the standard to which all Transformers movies should have been held. Finally, three movies later, the Transformers get to take center stage.

INFOKERNALS:

Directed by Michael Bay, Starring Shia LeBeouf, Josh Duhamel, Rosie Huntington-Whitely.

Rosie Huntington-Whitely is a Victoria’s Secret model and this is her first acting role.

The skydiving wingsuit sequence was real, and involved closing off streets in Chicago for filming. Professional skydivers wore cameras mounted on their helmets.