Thursday, 19 July 2018
Jonah Hex
Monday, 21 June 2010 15:42

Jonah HexAnd now for something completely different… If Toy Story 3 was one of the best films so far this year – Jonah Hex has to be one of the worst! Based on a DC comic series, Hex has a strong concept and visual material to draw upon, but absolutely butchers itself into so many pounds of buzzard feed.

Josh Brolin is an inspired choice to play a Western outlaw – he’s got the weather-beaten face; the sun-squinted eyes; the husky drawl. But his cowboy costume would have been put to far better use as Roland in a film adaptation of Stephen King’s Dark Tower books - perhaps a perfect fit. Instead Brolin tries desperately to make this movie work as Jonah Hex, an outlaw who came so close to death that he can now speak to the dead. Forced to watch his family die and then disfigured with a branding iron, he now looks for vengeance on anyone and anything that crosses his path.

Fox and BrolinThere is a vague plotline about a super weapon being built by a villainous John Malkovich who plays Hex’s arch enemy. There’s also some horse doo-doo about how Hex actually has a heart of gold and a soft spot for the town prostitute played by Megan Fox. Fox glares and pouts her way through all sorts of soft-focus lens scenes designed to showcase her looks like a Maxim magazine spread. Her character really is disposable other than providing something prettier for audiences to look at than Hex’s scarred face.

Josh Brolin as Jonah HexThe editing is an absolute mess and often completely confusing. Multiple scenes are cut together music-video style into a jumble of images, explosions and corny dialogue until I felt like I was watching three movies simultaneously. Clocking in at only 80-minutes, Jonah Hex isn’t even worth that small chunk of time.

INFOKERNALS:

Directed by Jimmy “The New Uwe Boll” Hayward, starring Josh Brolin, Megan Fox and John Malkovich.

In the original comics, Hex was disfigured by a searing tomahawk instead of a branding iron. This is just one of many diversions from the comic storyline.