Wednesday, 13 December 2017
Burnt Popcorn Awards
Thursday, 04 March 2010 16:00
Burnt Popcorn AwardsWith the Oscars fast approaching on March 7th, I thought I’d do my own little tribute to the movies of 2009. No doubt there were a lot of great films to see last year, but Hollywood pats itself on the back enough. So I’d like to take a “Thumbs Down” approach and talk about some of the biggest flops…

 

Popcorn Philosophy presents:

The Burnt
Popcorn Awards


Worst Movie Sequel
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

Transformers 2: Revenge of the SequelYou would think Michael Bay would learn from his mistakes, but instead he just goes and repeats them. But I guess I would too, if screwing up a good thing earned me $400-million!

 

Worst Movie You’ve Never Heard Of
Ace Venture Jr.: Pet Detective

Straight to video for a reasonThere’s a reason these things go straight to video, or straight to the garbage bin in this case.

 

 

Most Boring Film of the Year
The Soloist

SnoreJaime Foxx with bad teeth and greasy hair delivering a cheesy Hallmark card performance featuring endless classical music montages… Please make it stop!

 

 

Most Nightmare Inducing Film
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

Squeal with terrorI don’t care how “cute” they are supposed to be; the computer generated teenage rodents freak me out! The fact that they are boy-band heartthrobs to human girls makes it even more disturbing.

 

Grossest On-Screen Kiss
Seth Rogen
and Anna Farris in Observe and Report
-

Taste it again - for the first timeWe get to observe her throwing up all over his shoes and then frenching with chunks stuck to her chin. Icky.

 


Most Awkward Love Scene
Sandra Bullock
and Bradley Cooper in All About Steve

Who am I kidding? I'd jump him too.She throws herself at him in the back of his van parked at the end of her parent’s driveway. This is the most awkward scene in the movie, which is saying a lot.


Most Gratuitous Nude Scene
My Bloody Valentine 3-D

Naked fearThis was really just an excuse to feature big, fake knockers bouncing around on the big screen in 3-D. And this wasn’t just a momentary flash of nudity but a full-on extended scene of jiggling 3-dimensional silicon.

Lamest Action Hero
Tom Hanks
in Angels and Demons

Run Forrest!Does anyone really believe that Tom Hanks could even throw a punch or that he could run all over Vatican City without having a heart attack? He’d be better off chucking “Wilson” at the heads of evildoer’s.

 

Worst Fashion Statement
Angelina Jolie

Which child best matches my gown?Sorry Lady Gaga but Angelina Jolie has set the bar, making children the most popular fashion accessory. Instead of swapping purses to change up an outfit, just pick out a new kid. They come in all sizes and colors – collect and trade them all! “It’s a Small World After All”.


Biggest Ego
Megan Fox

She ain't pretty, she just looks that way.Sure she’s beautiful but she trashes her coworkers, has a mouth like a sailor and goes under the knife for completely unnecessary plastic surgery. She doesn’t just star in Transformers, she IS a Transformer and she’s got the ginormous, globe-shaped, umm… ego to prove it.

 

Most Blatant Cash Grab
Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience

NOT the Beatles, or even The Monkees.Disney’s poster boys for teenage abstinence ride the 3D wave of dollars before their popularity wanes. Between Jonas and Hannah Montana, Disney sure knows how to milk the cash cow.

 

 

Fattest Wallet
James Cameron
for Avatar

Red and Blue make Green$$$What do you get the guy who has everything? Reportedly Cameron kept one of the giant mech’s used in Avatar to place in his garden. Look out below, garden gnomes!




Most Distracting Haircut
Sandra Bullock
in All About Steve

Bulloc's femulletWhile everyone was talking about Robert Pattison’s hair in New Moon, I was obsessing over Sandra’s dirty-blonde fe-mullet. By far the WORST hair cut of the year in movies.


Silliest Wig
Taylor Lautner
in Twilight: New Moon

Lautner's luxurious locksThankfully becoming a werewolf also means getting a visit to the salon. Jacob comes to his senses and chucks that horrible Halloween Witch wig in favor of a tidy trim and all-over body waxing.

 

Check out the real deal during the 82nd Academy Awards on March 7th.