Thursday, 01 October 2020
Fool’s Gold
Written by Sandra Fitzpatrick   
Thursday, 14 February 2008 13:31

ThumbnailDon’t be “fooled” by the star power in Fool’s Gold featuring the ever popular Matthew McConaughey, Kate Hudson and the newly coined Donald “What-Was-He-Thinking?” Sutherland. You can bet that when they signed on to this sinking ship they were offered a big chunk of change to offset the sucker punch it would deliver to their reputations. This romantic-comedy-adventure is neither romantic nor comedic, and you’ll find more adventure in the movie theatre bathrooms.

Fool’s Gold is so unmemorable that it actually took me a few minutes to dredge up a foggy recollection of what film I had been to see over the weekend. When I did remember, it was with a dull groan of “Oh yeah” and a feeling of mild regret that I don’t suffer from permanent selective memory loss which would allow me to forget about it altogether. Yes – it is that bad.

I’m sure there are hoards of Matthew McConaughey fans out there that are going to flock to this movie no matter what I say; and it might even be worth it for them. I guess it depends on whether you are spending twelve-bucks to see a good movie or to see a good physique. McConaughey’s often shirtless and tanned body is definitely on show, usually soaking wet and dripping rivulets of crystal clear sea water. May I just say “YUCK”! Many women find him attractive but to me he just looks like he could use some shampoo and a bar of soap.

He and Kate Hudson star as Tess and Finn Finnegan, an ex-husband and wife who still share a passion for treasure hunting. Namely they are searching for a ship called the Aurelia that disappeared along with a cargo of forty trunks of gold and jewels – an entire Queen’s dowry. Of course they aren’t in it for the money, but heaven knows they could use it after Finn sinks his boat and gets into debt up to his well-defined pectorals. Thumbnail

Teaming up for one last shot at finding the treasure they elicit the help of Tess’ employer, a wealthy Englishman played by Donald Sutherland who manages to make his cliché ridden character the most interesting person in the film. Unfortunately that really isn’t saying much. His airhead daughter (Alexis Dziena) is meant to be eye-candy for the testosterone inclined portion of the audience, but runs the risk that a good gust of wind will blow her out of the film altogether. There is of course the sidekick foreigner of mysterious origin, riding on the coattails of Borat, who makes inappropriate prostitute comments. Oh and don’t even get me started about the island of Gangsta’ Rappers… That’s right! An entire island inhabited by trash-talking, bling-wearing, gun-toting Caribbean gangsters, all lead by a rapper with the ridiculous name of Bigg Bunny.

It’s obvious that the studio is trying to score a winner by bringing Hudson and McConaughey back together after the success of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. And the sailing would be pretty smooth for McConaughey who is basically reprising his Dirk Pitt character from the somewhat better adventure movie Sahara. He just had to kill a few brain cells and get his chest re-waxed. Throw in a script stolen from the recycling bins of the National Treasure franchise and you’ve got yourself a movie! I hate to say it, but this makes National Treasure 2 look like Indiana Jones.

Throw in the anchor and let’s sink this one before it even sets sail. Its one thing for a movie to insult the intelligence of an audience, but this one also fails miserably to entertain. Don’t waste your money. I give Fool’s Gold 3 out of 10 stars