Wednesday, 13 December 2017
Balls of Fury
Written by Sandra Fitzpatrick   
Wednesday, 05 September 2007 00:00
Whoever gave this movie the go-ahead deserves a swift kick to the Balls of Fury. The film sits primly atop the growing heap of comedic landfill that steadily leeches into our movie theatres.

I’m really sick of all these generic comedies that read like that nutty word game Mad Libs. Play along if you will:

“A down-and-out (profession) is at a low point in his career. When an evil criminal mastermind from (foreign country) forms an evil plot, the (law enforcement organization) need his help. Forced to choose between a life of (adjective) and the misery of failure, he must sharpen his abilities and overcome self-doubt to once again become the best (same profession) on the planet. Along the way he makes friends with a (racial minority)- and wins the affections of a feisty (hair color) who sees past his physical shortcomings and lack of charm to the man he could be. In the end he defeats the criminal by (verb ending in “ing”) him and everyone is happy.”

If you insert the words “Ping Pong Champion”, and “Chinese” into the first two spots that about sums up Balls of Fury. Along the way we are subjected to half assed-racial jokes, blind person jokes and a whole lot of just not funny. In fact a lot of the jokes would be downright offensive if they weren’t so bland and colorless. I’ll admit to a couple of chuckles here and there, but they only served to punctuate the length of time in between.

The casting is good enough and stars Dan Fogler (a relative newcomer) as the washed up Ping Pong player. He’s wasting his life on the entertainment circuit and slowly eating his way to a heart attack. Maggie Q is the angry chick with a killer body that falls for the unlikely hero. There is absolutely no chemistry in this romance, and I even wondered when they had time to fall in love since there is hardly any interaction between the two. It’s not hard to tell that the girls in this movie are strictly eye candy.

George Lopez plays it straight as a Latino FBI agent who dreams of living like James Bond and gets his chance, sorta’. Christopher Walken plays the Asian villain Feng, complete with Brooklyn accent and flamboyant pseudo-geisha getup. He looks like he just stepped out of Queen Amidala’s closet. It’s sometimes fun to watch him play with the role but, just like everything else in the film, even he falls flat. It would be good to see him do some real acting again soon after such awful films as The Stepford Wives and Click.

I won’t stretch this out any further, since there really is very little to say about Balls of Fury. If you’ve seen Dodgeball or Talladega Nights you’ve seen better movies than this one. Hey, I would be furious too if I paid full price to see this movie. Balls of Fury gets 2 out of 10 stars.