Wednesday, 13 December 2017
The Invisible
Written by Sandra Fitzpatrick   
Monday, 30 April 2007 00:00
The Invisible is a supernatural thriller that is neither super nor thrilling. In fact the scariest thing about this movie is how bloody awful it is! As for thrills, the only thrill I felt came when the end credits started to roll. Comparing this movie to watching paint dry would be generous. Comparing it to watching paint dry, fade, crack, peel and flake off might be slightly more accurate.

A high school kid named Nick (Justin Chatwin) is a model student with big dreams to be a writer. All of the girls sigh over his poetry because he’s, like, so “deep”. All the girls that is, except for Annie (Margarita Levieva), a sullen delinquent mixed up in petty crime. But every audience knows that a black hoodie and perfect pout mean that she’s “deep” too, despite the bratty façade.

Nick has been saving up for a writing course in England but at the last minute his underlying teen-angst gets the better of him. He scraps the idea, deciding instead to stumble home in a fog of self-pity. (Cue sappy alt-rock song and soft-focus lens.) Why he would trash his ticket I don’t know since it makes absolutely no sense. If only he had just gotten on that plane he would have saved me from prying my eyelids open with toothpicks for the rest of the film.

The movie takes its time setting up a very boring scenario in which Annie, along with her inexplicably mindless goons, has motive for beating Nick up and leaving him to die in the woods. Unfortunately (for us) Nick isn’t quite dead, and so we are subjected to another hour of his spirit wandering around watching really boring things happen. He has to find a way to save his body before it dies and time is running out – but not nearly fast enough. Despite the supposed urgency, he takes the time to watch Annie shower and have a little nap. Not to harp, but I wish I could have had a nap too.

What could have been a promising and exciting story is turned into a clogged up mess by shoddy acting and an even shoddier script that talks down to the audience. Even reliable Marcia Gay Harden is terrible. And don’t even get me started on the films star who delivers his lines so badly that I actually laughed out during the sad scenes.

The only real merit I can give this film is for the nice camera work, especially the smooth continuous-shot opening sequence. That scene, Nick’s nightmare, sets the tone for a movie that doesn’t exist - some cool hybrid of Donnie Darko and American Psycho.

My only hope is that this review and others like it will save you from a fate worse than death: A fate of sitting in limbo, in a darkened movie theatre from which you can’t escape where The Invisible is playing on the big screen and it goes on, and on… and on… and on…

I give The Invisible 2 out of 10 stars.