Wednesday, 13 December 2017
Blades of Glory
Written by Sandra Fitzpatrick   
Monday, 02 April 2007 00:00
Ever try ice-skating on dull blades? No matter how hard you work, you just end up plodding along until you trip and fall on your ass. Will Ferrell’s latest comedy Blades of Glory does exactly that regardless of the charisma of its leading actors.

Ferrell plays champion male figure skater Chazz Michael Michaels, a swaggering Y-chromosome with nothing but sex on the brain. One has to wonder if his self-proclaimed addiction to sex isn’t just overcompensation for a life in bright spandex leotards. His biggest competition is Jimmy MacElroy played by Napoleon Dynamite himself Jon Heder. Of course Jimmy is Chazz’s polar opposite sporting flowing blond locks, a sun-kissed tan (or is that foundation makeup?) and pouty, pink lips that always seem to have the perfect hint of gloss. Jimmy looks like he stepped right off the pages of a 1988 Tiger Beat magazine.

The setup for the film is promising with scenes of Jimmy’s childhood as an orphaned skating protégé. A wealthy philanthropist snaps him up and raises him as a sort of moneymaking science experiment. But one day the bottom drops out when Chazz and Jimmy tie for Gold and wind up in a brawl, getting them banned from competition for life. Years later both are struggling to get by doing jobs they hate until an overzealous fan finds a loophole. They are banned from the Men’s Singles, but there’s nothing keeping them from competing in Pairs Skating. It’s pretty easy to guess what happens next.

I was expecting more from Will Ferrell’s latest offering. Perhaps measuring up to the inspired hilarity of Anchorman is hoping too much, but it could have at least matched the chuckle value of Talladega Nights. With as rich a source to draw from as Figure Skating the possibilities for hilarity were endless. I was sorely disappointed.

Ferrell and Heder both play their hardest trying to make the material work, and sometimes they succeed – a true test of talent. We’ve seen Ferrell play this character before, the top dog fallen on hard times. Heder is suitably fresh-faced and his laughs come mainly from the ridiculous outfits he wears on and off the ice. Looks like baby blue tracksuits are making a comeback! Unfortunately the script runs on one joke: Male figure skating just isn’t manly. Okay, okay, we get it! The rest of the laughs (count them – one, two) stem from a series of cameos by figure-skatings finest including Nancy Kerrigan, Scott Hamilton and a slew of others. Don’t even get me started on the gang of Canadian Mounties lead by chronically underused Andy Richter.

No point in skating around the subject. That last line was about as funny as the movie. I recommend passing on this one, because you can’t be disappointed by it if you don’t see it!

I give Blades of Glory 2 out of 10 stars.