Saturday, 19 September 2020
Date Movie
Written by Sandra Fitzpatrick   
Saturday, 18 February 2006 20:01

Date Movie is anything but

Silly me. In the name of being a fair and even-handed film reviewer I honestly do try to see a wide variety of popular films that I think people will be interested in. Sometimes this means making a sacrifice. They don’t make sacrifices like they used to, so instead of offering up a lamb or something I ended up having to sit through Date Movie. There is an old saying “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it”. Well, now I can knock it. Date Movie is an hour-and-a-half of my life that I will never get back.

I’ve never seen Scary Movie or any of its spawn so I can’t really compare Date Movie to its predecessors. Essentially, it is a parody of popular romantic comedies such as Meet the Parents, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and many more. The problem is that the original films are often a whole lot funnier than this one is.

The movie follows Julia Jones (Alyson Hannigan) in her search for romance. When the movie opens she is a solitary girl in a fat suit, afraid of becoming a crazy cat lady like her neighbor. Ouch - That hurts! Her father (Eddie Griffin – only about 5 years her senior) wants her to marry a “Greek-Indian-Japanese-Jew” and stick to her roots. But she falls madly in love with Grant Fonckyerdoder (Adam Campbell), a Bachelor with a questionable history. All of this makes it sound like there is an actual story in there somewhere! Trust me, there isn’t.

As the movie progresses we are subjected to jokes about everything disgusting under the sun. A vat of fat is sucked through a straw; a mouth-full of human chest hair gets coughed up; an unfortunate cat puppet suffers extreme diarrhea and humps a corpse; the list of unfunny jokes goes on and on.

So what is funny about this movie? The real laughs are few and far between but there are a few. Julia lists in her diary that her Alcohol Units have reached “Tara Reid status”. I enjoyed seeing The Bachelor segment, Dodgeball, and a funny marriage-counseling scene. The Kill Bill spoof is quite funny, but it goes nowhere and gets cut short. It’s like they didn’t know where to go with the good ideas, so they just kept dragging out the bad ideas to fill in time.

I felt sorry for the actors in this movie. Especially Alyson Hannigan who has the dubious honor of the role being written for her. How could she possibly have turned that down? Adam Campbell is a newcomer whose only other acting credit is a TV series called “Commando Nanny”. Poor guy. Other actors I take mercy on are Jennifer Coolidge (best known as Stifler’s Mom), Fred Willard and even the movies’ “token hot girl” Sophie Monk.

Don’t waste your time and money on this one. Better yet rent some of the classic spoof movies that helped set the tone for the genre. I recommend: Airplane, Naked Gun, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Top Secret, Spaceballs (or any Mel Brooks film). I guess it would be an oxy-moron to call a spoof “original”, but at least these are worth your time.

I give Date Movie 3 out of 10 stars. That’s a star for every time I laughed.